USED CARS: Cure for the Male Midlife Crisis Under $75k

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headerDitch the shrink, lose the booze, chuck the drugs, forget the pet and try to love someone; the trouble is that you can’t love anybody else until you love yourself (at least a little and not in any private sort of way — that don’t count). Here are five sure fire ways to make you love yourself just a bit more than yesterday.

  • Hit the gym and move some iron on a consistent basis for a three-month period.
  • Get a tan — a real tan — in the sun; no fake ‘n’ bake and preferably with sand between the toes.
  • Get a girlfriend. If you are already married go ahead and get a girlfriend, anyway. Just make sure that she is your wife.
  • I am hesitant to use the next one because it can go either way and you have zero control over it. Have a grandchild. While I am way too young to have grandchildren, the boys and I have loads of fun together and they keep me feeling young.
  • I saved the best and most successful cure for last. Get an earth shattering automobile. If you like old cars, then get an old car but I am talking about a modern marvel of an automobile with around 500-ponies that you can jump-in and go to Anywhere, USA on a moments notice, fast.

Here is a short list of what I like to call “onion cars” because they make your eyes water (if you don’t have one, that is). You can have one of these great high-performance used cars easier than you think. Just check out used car websites like where you will find thousands, just like these.

srt82014 Dodge SRT 8 Challenger

You know I had to go there. This is one of the most bodacious muscle cars to ever grace the planet. It derives 470-factory horsepower from a 6.4-liter Hemi and still has all of the modern conveniences. Zero to sixty in under 5-seconds.

z282014 Chevrolet Camaro Z28

When I cut myself, tiny little bow ties run out. The Camaro Z28 embodies all that is Chevrolet high-performance. With a dry-sump equipped 7.0-liter V8 and track ready suspension, it conquered Nurbergring and it’ll break your depression. Zero to sixty in under 4-seconds.

ctsv2014 Cadillac CTS-V Coupe

A metamorphosis of luxury and performance, the CTS-V Coupe features plush leather seating to go with bold, elegant exterior styling, combined with mind-numbing horsepower and bristling acceleration. This therapeutic experience generates 556-horsepower from a supercharged 6.2-liter V8 engine (the same engine used in the Corvette ZR1). Zero to sixty in 4.2-seconds.

gtr2011 Nissan GT-R Premium

This is the one they call “Godzilla.” It boasts a 485-horsepower twin-turbocharged 3.8-liter V6, all-wheel drivetrain, six-speed shiftable automatic transmission, and one of the most ergonomic and comfortable cockpits in the industry. Zero to sixty in under 3-seconds.

2013 Ford Shelby GT5002014 Mustang Shelby GT500

This car is sewn into every little boy’s daydreams and is a part of every man’s fantasies. With an exhaust rumble so distinctive that nothing else even comes close, it is the prototypical cure for the mid-life crisis (especially in a red convertible). With a supercharged V8 engine that makes 662-horsepower and loads of curb appeal, it is easy to chase your cares away behind the wheel of this one. Zero to sixty in under 4-seconds.

S.M. Darby

S.M. Darby

I am a freelance author with over 25 years of experience as a professional, ASE certified automotive technician and shop owner, muscle car enthusiast, avid street racer, and classic car restoration specialist.

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