Bugs are the bane of summertime. Ants invade our picnics and our kitchens. Spiders make invisible webs that we walk through only to end up flailing madly as we wonder if the spider is now on us waiting to attack. Then there are the more frightening insects, like hornets. They’re the stuff of nightmares, like this nest inside a battered Chevrolet El Camino.
Usually it’s more innocuous creatures found in cars. Perhaps a mouse living in your glove box or maybe a family of squirrels making a home under the hood. They’re messy and they’re a nuisance, but they’re not terrifying. This thing is horrific.
These aren’t just your average, angry hornets. These are European Hornets. Cars might be smaller in Europe, but dang, they have some giant-sized hornets that look as though they’ve escaped from a government lab.
The poor El Camino they chose to call home has clearly been left to rot in someone’s back yard. How long? About however long it takes for hornets to overrun the headliner and build a human-shaped nest in the driver’s seat. It wasn’t creepy enough so they had to take a human-like form. Again, I’m wondering about the government lab.
Thankfully, the owner didn’t try to take care of this nest on his own. That would be an entirely different video and it would probably involve a good bit of yelling and I’d imagine dying because there are an obscene number of hornets in this nest.
Instead of a hapless, unprepared human, we have The Bee Man. His whole job is to take care of hornets that have chosen to make a home somewhere too close for comfort.
Clothed in what is not nearly enough protective material to get the average human anywhere near this thing, The Bee Man uses what looks for all the world like some kind of modified caulk gun to smoke them out. He pokes it into the nest, pumps some smoke, and increases the horror level by a factor of nine zillion as the giant hornets swarm everywhere.
He then reaches into the nest with his hands and starts breaking off bits and putting them in a leftover plastic bag from the local grocery store. It’s a very tiny bag and a very big nest. Like a scene out of Jaws, he comments, “Gonna need a bigger bag.”
If you look closely at the driver’s window, you’ll see something scrawled that looks like it says, “Runs.” Yeah, sure, it may run, but you couldn’t pay us to get anywhere near this car.