According to people who pay attention to holidays for which there are no gifts, today is National Name Your Car Day.
There have been quite a few good car nicknames over the years. Early in automotive history, the Ford Model T acquired the nickname “Tin Lizzie,” which originated from a race up Pikes Peak in 1922. One of the contestants entered a beat-up, barely painted Model T without a hood that the entrant had named “Old Liz.” Much to the delight of the crowd, Old Liz won the race, and the Tin Lizzie moniker stuck.
Our pal Rob Siegel affectionately names all of his BMW projects. In his column in the BMW Car Club of America magazine Roundel, and in his books Ran When Parked and Memoirs of a Hack Mechanic, his fans have been treated to stories about BMW 2002s named Bertha and Louie, and an E28 named The Lama (with one “L”, named for the interior color.)
Car nicknames can be cool. It wouldn’t do for the Green Hornet to drive a Chrysler Imperial Crown. Any schmoe bank vice president could drive that. He drove the “Black Beauty.”
When AMG went racing in the 1970s, it arrived with an enormous 300SEL with a 6.8-liter V8 named “The Red Pig.”
Ferrari went out of its way to build a car with a traditional alphanumeric name like 365 GTB/4, and the public ignored it and just called it a “Daytona” after a completely different Ferrari — the 330 P4 — crossed the finish line 1-2-3 at the 24 Hours of Daytona in 1967.
But we’re not here to ask about that. You’ve had some crap cars over the years, and you probably had some good names for them. Without running afoul of our Facebook language filter, give us your best car nickname for the worst car you ever owned.