JUNKYARD THERAPY: This Shot-Up Cadillac Says ‘Crime Doesn’t Pay’

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The backstories of junkyard cars can be interesting, and this bullet-ridden Cadillac Coupe DeVille looks to have a good one.

This one is marked as a 1980 Cadillac Coupe DeVille, which is confirmed by its lack of fender identification of a V6-8-4 or HT4100 engine. In other words, it’s from what is just about the best year of this body style, which was available with an uncomplicated and unrepentantly guzzling 6.0-liter engine.

It’s on this canvas of glorious consumption that this Coupe DeVille sits with holes in the windshield and lead in the seats.

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Ominously, “crime doesn’t pay” is scribbled down the sides…

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…and on the hood. There’s a clear message here, and if the block letters don’t drive the point home…

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…then the bullets through the windshield will.

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Those bullets were mostly aimed at the driver’s seat, and some made it to the rear as well.

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My buddy was looking for blood but found none. The absence of gore means this car was likely presented as a theatrical prop, in the same vein as the smashed cars that would show up on the high-school lawn around prom time to show us all what would drunk driving looks like.

Still, why also shoot up the door? There’s a persistence to this particular art project that at a minimum shows commitment.

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This Coupe DeVille seemed pretty weary overall, and so the bullet holes are less a shock to their backdrop than the last straw in a long and well-used life.

The instrument panel’s cracked top is absolutely typical for the time. The steering wheel is cracked too.

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The heavy contoured indentations are a cut above the contact-paper “wood” on most of this Coupe DeVille’s contemporaries. The light switch is especially luxurious with two chrome rings, where most lessers got by with a shiny outer ring and a fake-wood dot in the middle.

And ah, this one has the beautifully named automatic headlight function – the Twilight Sentinel. A car that comes with a sentinel, nice.

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It’s not often you see a shot-up car with a clear aim for the driver’s seat. This one feels more after-school demonstrator than something more real, but maybe that’s just me hoping for the best.

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Find a vintage and bullet-free Cadillac DeVille with BestRide’s local search.

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